I Samuel 30:6 “But David strengthened himself in the Lord.”
Being strengthened by the Lord means that it is okay to sit and think about God’s arms holding me close to his heart. There are days that these moments bring peace and comfort, even a sense of hearing “well done, good and faithful servant.”
Many other moments quite the opposite is true. These moments are expressed best in tears because life feels so messed up. I am reminded that there is so much that I have not yet done.
Fear that I will be rewarded like the man who buried the treasure* he was given assail me. This man’s reward was no reward at all; it was a rebuke given with a voice of disappointment.
What will I have to offer you, Jesus, when we are face to face? The answer is always the same…not enough. Jesus, I will never have enough to offer you for all your goodness to me.
*Matthew 25:14-30 The Parable of the Talents
But the Lord reminds me … of the pleasure He gains from watching me do things I love. My desire for perfection does not limit His pleasure; it limits by pursuits. Gently, I hear His voice reminding me to do what I know to do. Do what I am good at. Do what I love. This is how to walk in the gifts He has given me and make good use of my personal treasure.
The list of which He reminds me is not impressive:
“You love to read, read.
You love to teach, teach.
You love to write, write.
You love to encourage, encourage.
You love to share, share freely.
You love to laugh, laugh with joy.
You love to think, think.
You love to listen to your thoughts and for the voice of your Heavenly Father, so listen.”Thoughts of I Corinthians 12 affirm these words. There are “varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit…and varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. … For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, and to another the word of knowledge according to the same Spirit; and to another faith by the same Spirit, and to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, and to another the effecting of miracles, and to another prophecy, and to another the distinguishing of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, and to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit works all these things distributing to each one individually just as He wills.”
If you are questioning your value, your ambitions, your achievements, or the purpose of your losses, answer the same questions God asked of me.
What do you know?
What are you good at?
What do you love?You cannot afford to have a thought in your head about yourself that God does not have in His.
My earthly Father has always loved me, no matter what. I cannot remember a time that he was overtly disappointed in me. My Dad has just always been there for me. So, God, what lie have I believed to cause myself to live under such a weight of fear – condemnation – why such a struggle? I think of my late husband, Howard, who won this battle from his back. Not able to do things he so desperately longed to do, yet he found contentment because he understood what God gave to him and recognized God’s full acceptance.
Closing my meandering the Lord helped me to understand that those things that I know, do well, and love are answers to prayers I have prayed for years.
I asked for the gift of knowledge. God gave me reading, teaching, and writing.
I asked for the gift of wisdom. God gave me encouraging, sharing, and laughing.
I asked for the gift of discernment. God gave me thinking and listening.
I sit back and smile. In this moment, no tears of remorse. In this moment, God turns my mourning into dancing. He turns my wondering into wonder. Resting in His peace assures me of the reality of His promise. “Well done, Angie, well done.”Take some time and respond to the Holy Spirit. Meditate on the moment when all of your hopes and dreams will be captured with one look at Jesus' face. CAPTURED - You win! Your hopes and dreams are not beyond your reach. You have attained the One for whom you have lived.
Comentarios